Will approach Bain about ideas for “vulture capitalism” fundraising techniques to pay for attack ad campaign
Washington, D.C. – In response to news that Stephen Colbert has relinquished control of his super PAC, Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, to Jon Stewart, and has set up an exploratory committee to run for President of the United States of South Carolina, a watchdog group has sought legal assistance to explore creating an exploratory super PAC of its own to oppose Stephen Colbert’s exploratory committee.
“My client, Public Campaign Action Fund, has the right to explore establishing a super PAC in order to spend millions of dollars to oppose Stephen Colbert’s exploration of running for President,” said election law attorney Adam Bonin of The Law Offices of Adam C. Bonin in Philadelphia. “I’ve advised them to look for money in the murky, fetid, cobweb-infested underworld of American politics. Our message to Mr. Colbert is this: live in the dark alleys of campaign finance regulations, die in the dark alleys of campaign finance regulations.”
The organization is also exploring what presidential candidate Mitt Romney called “creative destruction” as a way to finance attack ads through its exploratory Super PAC. One such plan includes approaching Bain Capital to use their expertise in finding the capital to fund a negative campaign against Colbert’s exploration of running for President.
“We intend to approach Bain Capital and first seek their assistance in investing heavily in Stephen Colb… umm, Jon Stewart’s super PAC, Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow,” said David Donnelly, national campaigns director of the nonpartisan group. “Then, we want Bain to do to Stewart’s super PAC whatever it did to all those companies. We want to follow the lead of Mitt Romney and Bain and suck all the money out of it. Then, we will use the money to fund attack ads against Colbert. We’re calling our approach to fundraising ‘vulture democracy.’
“Look out, Jon Stewart and Trevor Potter: your pink slips are in the mail,” Donnelly continued.
The group acknowledged that there is likely no longer any television time or postage left in the state to purchase. Donnelly said the exploratory super PAC will explore advertising through sponsoring bingo placards, ads on paper place mats in diners, signs above urinals, skywriting, and hiring sandwich-sign wearers throughout the state.
“Come heck or high water, Colbert’s exploration must be stopped – he’s bad for America today and tomorrow,” Donnelly said, unveiling the reform group’s super PAC’s new tagline.
The reform group’s exploratory super PAC’s name, though, has yet to be determined, but it could be announced within days. Any one inquiring about naming rights should contact Mr. Bonin at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Public Campaign Action Fund works to hold politicians who are against comprehensive campaign finance reform accountable for where they get their political donations. Learn more at www.campaignmoney.org.